For Americans interested in Gay Rights, and marriage laws, Proposition 8 and developments around it are of ongoing importance. Attitudes to gay marriage vary around the world and many countries have a lot of catching up to do. At loveyoudivine we have a number of writers who are GLBT folk, (not just writing about it) making this an issue that we care about a great deal.

Below are a selection of thoughts offered by loveyoudivine authors, two of whom were involved in our To Love and To Cherish anthology.

A View from the North – by Jean Roberta, a contributor to To Love & To Cherish 

 The ridiculous Proposition 8, a bill that overturned a law that had already been passed in California to allow same-sex marriage in that state, has now been overturned on grounds that it is unconstitutional. (I’m sorry if this sentence is confusing, but the one-step-forward and two-steps-back progress of “gay rights” in the U.S. is hard to explain in simple terms!) Those of us who are watching from farther north would like “CA” (California) to join the other “CA” (Canada) in allowing all consenting adults (men, women, undecided or in-between) to have access to all the legal benefits and responsibilities of marriage.

Why did Canada become the fourth nation in the world to allow same-sex marriage? The bill that proposed (pun intended) this option was passed into law in the Canadian Parliament on July 20, 2005. This bill was based on the Canadian Charter of Rights, part of a national constitution which became law in 1982, and which outlaws discrimination based on gender, among other things. Do you see where this leads? If men and women are defined as equals, then heterosexual marriage can’t be a master-and-slave arrangement – not legally, anyway.  And if it is a contract between equals, then no one could reasonably argue for a “notwithstanding” clause to prevent same-sex marriages. (The Conservative Party of Canada argued for this clause, but they were outshouted by smart lawyers. Ha.) 

So there is the key to progress: legal equality between women and men leads to legal equality for people of all sexual orientations. It’s as simple as that, at least under the law. 

My rant for the blog – David Sullivan (author of bisexual fiction)

As the author of a book on wisdom and common sense (Wisdom is the Answer, Common Sense is the Way, 2009 by RDR Publishers) I’d like to weigh in on the recent Federal Court ruling that struck down California’s marriage law being for only a man to a woman.

First: think back in history for other prejudicial laws. When one couldn’t marry outside of one’s race? When Asians couldn’t own property in California. It happened to friends of mine, one was American born but 100% Chinese.

Second: some people claim that they want to hold fast to the original idea of marriage: one man, one woman. Ok, but which “original” concept and in which country because they vary from culture to culture. And how far back to go, but let me recall some of the ‘old’ concepts. A man could buy a wife, or parents would pay for a man to marry a daughter. Wives were considered on a par with the livestock. A man could beat or force sex (rape) with his wife and was allowed to beat her with a stick as big as his thumb (the rule of thumb.) In some cultures a man could kill his wife for certain offenses.

Third: In my book I asked people to look deeply within their hearts. Do the beliefs they hold truly hold a valid truth or do readers believe certain things because they were taught that way and are afraid to speak against it. How would you feel if a rule or law was against something you believed in? Ask: Is it fair?

Finally, as a retired police officer I know the US Constitution calls for “equal protection under the law.” No exception for blacks, Italians, women, short people, gays, lesbians or bisexuals.

Those who fail to remember history….

Thoughts from To Love and To Cherish editor Lara Zielinsky

Because Proposition 8 is unconstitutional under both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses, the court orders entry of judgment permanently enjoining its enforcement;” ~ VAUGHN R WALKER, United States District Chief Judge, August 4, 2010

I was ecstatic that Judge Vaughn Walker overturned Prop 8 in California, particularly with his reasoning (stated above).

The writers of Sapphic Planet united to write our 14 stories in To Love and To Cherish because Prop 8 had taken away the rights given to LGBT couples in the 5 months from June to November 2008, and we needed to vent, to educate, and to share our inner passion about how beautiful, strong, and natural lesbian loving relationships are and how they deserve the rights of marriage.

Judge Walker saw the same reasoning in legal standards as we did in our hearts. Marriage — the desire to love and cherish and build a home and life with someone — is a civil right — and he required the immediate reinstatement of marriage to all California citizens, regardless of sexual identity or orientation.

Though the fight is not over — this thing still has a trip to the U.S. District 9 Court of Appeals and the Supreme Court, I am very hopeful that the day is close at hand when marriage will be established as a civil right for ALL U.S. Citizens.

Sincerely,

Lara Zielinsky
co-editor, To Love and To Cherish
(2010; loveyoudivine)

At loveyoudivine we know that ‘equality’ means everyone. It doesn’t mean equal rights only for people you happen to like and feel comfortable about. It doesn’t mean accepting prejudices rooted in ancient religious laws. Diversity is a good thing, and we celebrate humanity in all its complexity. We hope for a brighter, more tolerant future.

While at first glance risk taking may seem a milder kink than voyeurism or exhibitionism, it’s also a more complicated one. The voyeur consciously enjoys looking. The exhibitionist takes a knowing delight in showing off. The risk taker gets kicks from uncertainty, possibility and getting away with it.

 Risk takers have sex in situations where they might get caught and get a kick out of doing so. That is, I think, the difference between people who are kinky about possibly being caught, and people who are horny and get it on despite the risk.

Dalia Craig’s Weathering The Storm offers a perfect example of the latter – two women who are so into each other they can’t wait, but who are very nearly caught by some passersby. The scene mixes excitement with a fear of humiliation and there’s a mixed emotional response – relief in having got away with it, and self consciousness because it could have gone very wrong.

 My tale Tight, Dark Places includes two guys having sex on a balcony – one of whom is a deliberate risk taker, getting a kick out of possibly being caught. They are visible, but it’s not obvious that they’re fucking. Remaining in control enough not to let on what’s happening can be part of the thrill and the danger of such a scene.

 Cheri Crystal has a number of stories about risk takers. Risky Pursuit offers a scenario where two women go climbing in order to have sex in a rather public and hazardous place. Here the risk of discovery blends with the physical danger to create an adrenaline high. Mile High Dare, as the title suggests, involves the possibility of sex on a plane – a fantasy for many people. The risk is deliberately sought, but the audience is not. It’s an interesting blend of wanting, and not wanting to be seen.

So what is risk taking about? It’s clearly not about showing off and being seen. Risk takers often make efforts not to be caught. Is it the sense of getting away with it? The thrill of doing something a bit taboo without getting caught? For people who get a kick out of being humiliated, the risk/possibility of humiliation adds spice to an encounter. Imagined shame that does not actually occur, has its own peculiar allure.

 Risk taking comes in many shapes and forms. How risky an activity seems depends on how private you are. I’ve encountered guys who claim they can’t get it up at all with someone aside from their partner in the house. You might risk being overheard and disturbed, or having the neighbours know what you are doing (approximately). Some people get a kick out of suspecting that others can hear them.

 It might be about finding a secret place where you hope not to be interrupted. As someone who likes to play outside, I’ve a fair amount of experience of that. There, the pleasure lies entirely in getting away with it. Then there are those who court risk, barely hidden – like a rather startled couple I encountered in a Birmingham park one day who clearly hadn’t expected a whole grove of druids to come ambling out of the trees… but who carried on regardless! Some people get more thrills for being closer to getting caught. It’s all about what happens inside your head – the fantasy of a sexy voyeur, or a public humiliation without the reality of dealing with any real complications. It puts an edge on things, an urgency that gets the blood pumping, and for some people that’s a real turn on.