In some circles, the term ‘BDSM’ is synonymous with the term ‘Kink.’ At loveyoudivine Alterotica, these two concepts amount to apples and oranges. Sure, the trees upon which they grow might both bear fruit, but one is to maintain a way of life; the other is just for fun.
BDSM is a Lifestyle, a relationship paradigm. Kink is an activity.
As a retired Pro and current Lifestyle Dominatrix, I maintain a household of slaves and submissives. How we interact is not a lot different from you and your lover, perhaps, except I have the final say in all things. That also places me a position of utmost responsibility for all of them. I gratify their needs, their desires, that unholy yearning for Dominance, and for that they offer their most devout submission.
What does submission look like? To me, simply exquisite. How could I deny any one of them when they approach me with such devotion? When they crawl into a room and swirl into a quivering puddle around my feet? When they clutch my ankle to convey such longing as if that close connection is still universes distant? When that broken sob sears through my flesh like a firestorm? What do they need?
They would deceive themselves into believing that they need nothing more than Mistress. But Mistress knows better. What they need is communion with Mistress. A creature they perceive as all-knowing and all-powerful. Someone who opens them physically, mentally and spiritually to be free of the material world, and to join with me in a place only the two of us, and no one else, can create. A place we inhabit together for relatively short spans of time. Like a drug, the energy exchanged sustains us.
How do we create that place? I lead; they follow.
Of course, we begin with that which is easiest to conquer – the flesh. When he feels the rope laid across the back of his neck, my reward is that first gasp of the evening. As I twist the rope around the torso, weaving in steel rings as attachment points, I feel him contract inside, even as his skin swells and colors with sexual arousal. Drawing that rope between the legs elicits a shudder and a moan. I might lay him on the massage table and finish that harness with the ends woven tightly around the genitalia. The sound of the chain clipped to the rings closes the eyes. The feel of the chain yanked hard under the tabletop to attach to the opposite ring at the hips, at the chest, across the throat causes the lungs to empty in complete relaxation.
Mistress has him by the balls – exactly what he needs. Should he thrash beyond the limits of my bonds, he will be reminded…vividly.
Still, we’ve only just begun.
He knows what’s next; he’s experienced it hundreds of times through the years, yet he’s never quite prepared. The black satin gloves covering my hands caress the surface so I can watch the muscles ripple under the skin like the concentric circles of waves created by a pebble tossed into a pond. The hips jerk, the shoulders shudder. And then comes the whip.
I use a variety of tools to create the sensations he needs to rend his mind null. When he ceases to think, he becomes. Transformed into my slave, my slut, my choir of angels, by my own design, by my own desperate need.
Hours later, he’s exhausted, yet energized. Boiling with my determination, alive, renewed, reborn. The sexual arousal with which he began was merely the fuel to launch him beyond the material world, beyond orgasm or any gross sensation, to commune with me in a place of our own creation.
Sound kinky to you?
What we do is normal for us – it’s how we convey to each other our emotions, our individual requirements, and our collective goals. When I lash him with a whip, that intensity conveys something, most usually enduring love. When he writhes, when he cries, when he reaches out merely to connect, though he may be unconscious of it, he conveys to me the same.
He responds to me…and only me within our little universe.
BDSM is a Lifestyle paradigm. Most certainly, this paradigm can’t be compared to relationships within Vanillaville, otherwise known as ‘normal’ romantic relationships. For us, there’s nothing ‘kinky’ in what we do or how we interact. It’s not naughty on any level, not deviant nor disgusting. It’s who we are; it’s what we do and how we communicate with each other.
Kink is a concept that relates only to Vanillaville. If you’ve spent 10 years in the missionary position, getting flipped over and spanked could be kinky, naughty, or even downright sinful. It might reach a little deeper for a total turn-on. The sash of your satin robe restraining your hands behind your back may offer a sense of helplessness, danger or even submissiveness. A little wax dripped over your body might cause it to shudder, as might the flat of his hand on your derriere. Playful, sensual, and exciting, kink is foreplay. A Master/slave relationship, and the means we use to communicate with each other, are not.
At loveyoudivine Alterotica, we offer both. Lifestyle literature written by those who live within a BDSM paradigm, both Dominant and submissive, can be found at the Erotic Power Xchange. A little kink can be found on any page of our catalogue.
We’re thrilled to announce yet another category at lyd – Focus on Fetish. While much of our work might contain scenes of fetishes, Focus on Fetish will relate to that particular turn-on. Secondary to the turn-on, there may be a relationship involved, maybe not. We’re blessed with some of the most talented authors in the industry, authors who understand the human psyche and what drives us to do what we humans will do. Authors who will lead you through a fantasy world (fiction), or invite you to glimpse fictionalized accounts of their own lives (Scene Lit).
Whatever we publish, we’re focused on You.
~Lady Midnight~
While at first glance risk taking may seem a milder kink than voyeurism or exhibitionism, it’s also a more complicated one. The voyeur consciously enjoys looking. The exhibitionist takes a knowing delight in showing off. The risk taker gets kicks from uncertainty, possibility and getting away with it.
