Sex is funny. Before you pop your cherry, you think it’s going to be some frantically serious undertaking that you must get right and if your partner(s) laugh, you must have goofed.
Porn films are full of frowning, gasping, begging but not a whole lot of giggling. Even the soft, fuzzy romantic scenes in mainstream movies tend to be full of meaningful glances and nods, whisperings and love-talk – not guffaws and amusing bodily noises.
The reality is different. If you’re not laughing while you’re getting jiggy, you’re simply not relaxed enough. Life has moments of humor and so does sex. There are those spontaneous moments when someone puts a donut on their penis. Unintentionally amusing fanny farts. Loss of balance during tantric human pyramids that leads to catastrophic collapse, limbs flailing.
You don’t see a whole lot of humor in written erotica. When I read Alex Morgan’s Leash of Faith it was the first truly funny erotic ebook I’d read, and I howled with laughter. It’s a rare treat to find something sexy and funny. There’s an element of farce which harks back to the old sex comedies with people leaping, semi-naked, in and out of cupboards. It’s a gay sex story with a bondage fetish; bdsm always sounds so drearily serious but it doesn’t have to be.
I tried to bring humor into my lesbian/genderqueer ebook, Behind The Door. Kelly and Alex seem like a het couple but Alex – though he considers himself male – is biologically female. So the physical sex is f/f (even if the characters themselves are resolutely not!). Again, this is not an in-depth exploration of gender roles – the story is a light, slightly farcical romp involving the couple trapped together in a bathroom…
There’s an argument that if you’re laughing you’re not getting turned on. That a writer should invoke one emotion at a time. I do disagree. Laughing relaxes you. Once you’re relaxed….anything’s possible!
Related posts:
- Slavery, bdsm and the darkest fiction
- Vintage Lesbian Erotic Science Fiction. What’s Not To Like?
- Beyond transsexual, transgender and transvestite: genderqueer erotic fiction
- Writing what you must
- Writing with a purpose.
- Wildfire – new gay fiction
- Foreplay and fiction
- “Breathless” now available in paperback from Amazon

Ohhh Jay!
I completely agree with you. As a certified wise-ass I love humor in stories and liberally dose mine with funny-ness. (Yes, part of my humor is inventing words.)
Just this morning as my dog walked me, I spoke to him about writing a story that takes place in a homosexual world and straights are Osterized. (Smirk, sorry, I meant ostracized.) A group of bisexuals come to the rescue and bring peace.
And as far as your last comment on those who insist on one emotion at a time: I believe those ‘rule makers’ are simply afraid to venture forth or prefer simple and write a rule to keep others away from exploration.
Sincerely,
David
57 going on 16
Fan of Alex Morgan
I agree.
The contortions we get into when engaging in carnal frolics are funny enough, but when you add the embarrassing things we say to get ourselves to that stage, should open a cornucopia of opportunity for witty writing.
The trouble is that people take sex – as they most things in life – way too seriously. Whilst giggling during foreplay may be fine, falling off the bed/sofa/dining table/piece of gymnasium equipment helpless with laughter may not be so well received.
I suspect that men may be less open to humor than women, as we seem to think that too much is expected of us. Also, if the Lady laughs, he may worry that she’s laughing at his body.
I remember from my time at sea a couple of amusing incidents although it was a while before I saw the funny side.
On one occasion, in, I think, Fremantle, as I disrobed the Lady started laughing. “What’s up?” I asked.
“Well, ” she said, pointing, “You aren’t! Who do do you think you’re going to satisfy with that?”
The only answer I could think of was, “Me.”
The other incident was in Buenos Aires. I had imbibed a fair number of Cuba Libres in Harry’s Bar, and, like most chaps in that condition was worried about whether the drink was affecting my prowess.
“How am I doing?” I asked.
“You’re doing about three knots, Captain.” she replied.
(For the landlubbers amongst us, knots is a nautical measure of speed.)
“What do you mean, three knots?”
“Well, you’re not hard. you’re not in and you’re not getting your money back.”
I have a sneaky feeling that I’m not going to get these past my eagle eyed editor if I try and incorporate them into a story.
Thanks David! You should post your links up here so we can check your stories out.
I wish I could think of a witty reply but that last one – three knots – just had me in bits. Love it! Yes you MUST get that into a story!!!
Love the post, Jay. I’ve written a few lesbian erotic comedies and most readers don’t seem to know what to make of funny sex. *shrugs*
My favourite real-life funny started with a vaginal fart, which I of course had to follow up with, “That was vaginal!” Over the course of that 10-year relationship, any time my partner and I heard or made any body-ish sounding noise we’d both yell, “That was vaginal!” LOL
Hugs,
Giselle